About Me
My name is Gillian Reynolds and I’m the shoulder to cry on for friends, family and women everywhere. I believe that women should have satisfying, balanced, happy and fulfilling relationships. I know all too well what it feels like to be dumped by a man you utterly adore. I am now married to a former ex boyfriend of mine and I wanted to share my own personal experiences with other women who may find themselves feeling alone and confused after a break up. Blessings to you as you keep moving forward.
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hi!I am in a terrible situation.Trully..Well I had a 7 year relationship and I mooved in with him.After six months he came one day at home and said he was not happy,not himself,not in love..We had a really beautifull relationship with much of love and supporting..When I asked me why he didnt told me so in order to easilly fix stuff he told me he was trying.By himself.Nevermind,it xas an enormous soc and I couldnt handle it,so I made all the wrong things and I think I pussed him more away than he already was.The worst is that almost a month after our breakup he made a relationship with another woman,different than me.It was terrible.How could he replace me right after a month in his life and in our friends?He spend a lot of time with her but I can believe he doesnt love me.I fell so strongly for him and I thought he was too.I dont want to loose him cause he is my love and I think and hope he will understand it.But I dont want to continue my life without him.I want him with me..I love him and I cant deal with it.Its been 3 months now..Im 27 and he is 31.Is there a chanse to be together again?I firmly believe that we belong to each other but I thing that he is acting egoistic and selfish now..Do you believe the term rebound relationships?Do you thing this could be one?Thanks a lot!
Hi Kate – I’m so sorry to hear of all the emotional turmoil you’ve endured. I firmly believe in rebound relationships. Some people try to quiet the pain they feel after a break up by jumping into a relationship with someone new right away. That may be what your ex boyfriend is doing at the moment. The best advice I can offer you is to work on yourself during this time. Don’t chase after him or try and get him to see that his new girlfriend isn’t the right woman for him. That just makes you look as though you don’t believe in yourself. Stay strong and stay compassionate and kind. If you can remain a friend to him during this time you’ll show him that you care for him no matter what. Best of luck to you. Gillian.
My boyfriend broke up with me because I was to needy and with the neediness I would say things that I don’t mean out of insecurities/ to get a raise out of him. Before the break up he was helping me through this needy phase. I was very immature with the needy phase and he would tell me he feels like I don’t trust. He almost broke up with me three times, but each of the three times he would say “I love you so much and I know you are working on it, I would never break up with you” .
The day of the break up was bad. I didn’t even let him talk about the break. I should have, but my emotions were high. I cried to loudly and made a scene right in front of his best friend. I begged and tried to kissed him. I also threw up in front of them. He said because of how I acted during the break up, there is a slim chance that him and I will get back together. Then he said “If I see changes then I will reconsider”
Then I made the mistakes of seeing him twice in person and telling him this time will be different because of the break up. He told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore because of how I acted. He told me that he would like for us to be friends at one point. He became angry because I kept pushing him. He then said “its possible for us to get back together but it is unlikely”
Please, I need your advice. I really do want him back. Do I wait for him? Is there any chances?
Hi Ashley – I understand completely what you are going through. Our emotions can take over and make our bodies react physically in certain ways. Hence the reason you got ill in front of your ex and also why you tried to kiss him. Right now he has all the power and he’s well aware of it. He’s made that clear with his comments like “If I see changes then I will reconsider” or “it’s possible for us to get back together but it’s unlikely.” He knows that he controls the situation and that is feeding his ego. Here’s what I’d advise you to do starting today – stop talking to your ex boyfriend. Do whatever you have to in order to make that happen. It might mean asking a close friend to be your “break up buddy” – really that just means that you can call her or text her whenever you feel overwhelmed and are concerned you’ll contact your ex. You need to keep the no contact phase going for at minimum 3 weeks. I realize this seems like an eternity now, but it’s crucial. Men cycle through their emotions at a much slower rate than women do. You also need this time to get your own emotional bearings. I want you to focus on something while you take this time for you – your boyfriend has indicated (in a very roundabout way) that he’s still interested. Just those comments demonstrate that he is – he wouldn’t leave the door ajar at all if he was completely done with you. Please take some time and stop contacting him. You really need to shift the dynamic of this back into your hands and no contact is the way to do that. In life and love, Gillian