About Me

I’m the shoulder to cry on for friends, family and women everywhere. I believe that women should have satisfying, balanced, happy and fulfilling relationships.

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Comments

16 Responses to “About Me”
  1. kate says:

    hi!I am in a terrible situation.Trully..Well I had a 7 year relationship and I mooved in with him.After six months he came one day at home and said he was not happy,not himself,not in love..We had a really beautifull relationship with much of love and supporting..When I asked me why he didnt told me so in order to easilly fix stuff he told me he was trying.By himself.Nevermind,it xas an enormous soc and I couldnt handle it,so I made all the wrong things and I think I pussed him more away than he already was.The worst is that almost a month after our breakup he made a relationship with another woman,different than me.It was terrible.How could he replace me right after a month in his life and in our friends?He spend a lot of time with her but I can believe he doesnt love me.I fell so strongly for him and I thought he was too.I dont want to loose him cause he is my love and I think and hope he will understand it.But I dont want to continue my life without him.I want him with me..I love him and I cant deal with it.Its been 3 months now..Im 27 and he is 31.Is there a chanse to be together again?I firmly believe that we belong to each other but I thing that he is acting egoistic and selfish now..Do you believe the term rebound relationships?Do you thing this could be one?Thanks a lot!

  2. HelpfulDiva says:

    Hi Kate – I’m so sorry to hear of all the emotional turmoil you’ve endured. I firmly believe in rebound relationships. Some people try to quiet the pain they feel after a break up by jumping into a relationship with someone new right away. That may be what your ex boyfriend is doing at the moment. The best advice I can offer you is to work on yourself during this time. Don’t chase after him or try and get him to see that his new girlfriend isn’t the right woman for him. That just makes you look as though you don’t believe in yourself. Stay strong and stay compassionate and kind. If you can remain a friend to him during this time you’ll show him that you care for him no matter what. Best of luck to you. Gillian.

  3. Ashley says:

    My boyfriend broke up with me because I was to needy and with the neediness I would say things that I don’t mean out of insecurities/ to get a raise out of him. Before the break up he was helping me through this needy phase. I was very immature with the needy phase and he would tell me he feels like I don’t trust. He almost broke up with me three times, but each of the three times he would say “I love you so much and I know you are working on it, I would never break up with you” .

    The day of the break up was bad. I didn’t even let him talk about the break. I should have, but my emotions were high. I cried to loudly and made a scene right in front of his best friend. I begged and tried to kissed him. I also threw up in front of them. He said because of how I acted during the break up, there is a slim chance that him and I will get back together. Then he said “If I see changes then I will reconsider”

    Then I made the mistakes of seeing him twice in person and telling him this time will be different because of the break up. He told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore because of how I acted. He told me that he would like for us to be friends at one point. He became angry because I kept pushing him. He then said “its possible for us to get back together but it is unlikely”

    Please, I need your advice. I really do want him back. Do I wait for him? Is there any chances?

  4. HelpfulDiva says:

    Hi Ashley – I understand completely what you are going through. Our emotions can take over and make our bodies react physically in certain ways. Hence the reason you got ill in front of your ex and also why you tried to kiss him. Right now he has all the power and he’s well aware of it. He’s made that clear with his comments like “If I see changes then I will reconsider” or “it’s possible for us to get back together but it’s unlikely.” He knows that he controls the situation and that is feeding his ego. Here’s what I’d advise you to do starting today – stop talking to your ex boyfriend. Do whatever you have to in order to make that happen. It might mean asking a close friend to be your “break up buddy” – really that just means that you can call her or text her whenever you feel overwhelmed and are concerned you’ll contact your ex. You need to keep the no contact phase going for at minimum 3 weeks. I realize this seems like an eternity now, but it’s crucial. Men cycle through their emotions at a much slower rate than women do. You also need this time to get your own emotional bearings. I want you to focus on something while you take this time for you – your boyfriend has indicated (in a very roundabout way) that he’s still interested. Just those comments demonstrate that he is – he wouldn’t leave the door ajar at all if he was completely done with you. Please take some time and stop contacting him. You really need to shift the dynamic of this back into your hands and no contact is the way to do that. In life and love, Gillian

  5. barkha says:

    hii
    i’m in so much terrible condition. i love a guy who is already commited, an his gf is my close frnd, there relationship is of about 7 years old, 2 years ago my frend make us to contact in a general way, from then we start to talk each other, and the conversation went on increasing, after some time i realized that i like him. he also, but not that much as i did. still many times i made him feel that i like him, and something more. around 1 year ago, i asked him that if he loved me, and i forced him to express his feelings to me. he expressed, the same as i wanted. but also he says that he loves hi gf too, and more than me. i was not shocked, coz i knew this fact. but as the days passed i felt that i’m losing my equality in our relationship, i was more bent to him, he alwys says that he don’t want that i leave him, and the same i wanted. but now after two yaers, condition has been changed,
    before few months he came so much closed to me, and we meet in a park there i lose my senses to him and he kissed and hugged me, it was great feeling. after that we met again two times, but after sometime i realized that he is just having only fun of me, and his love is just a myth
    i decide to quit, but after telling his gf evrything,
    i did it, and confess to her, i felt so much sorry to her, and told to her to forgive his bf. girl got break to know all that, and weeps a lot, but now she takes all his favour and is angry with me that i tried to steal hi bf.
    the boy also changed his color, and thrown me like a scrap, he claimed evrything on me, and after his gf he shows that he hates me, and exactly is that he do in reality.
    but as much he hates me, i find mysely bent to him. i want him back, at least as a friend again, but he hates me a lot that he does not want o see my face even.

  6. HelpfulDiva says:

    Hi Barkha – I’m sorry for the pain you’re in. It sounds like a very complicated, emotional situation. The best advice I can offer is to distance yourself from this man. Any man who would be in a relationship with two women at one time and claim to love them both is very scattered emotionally. He’s emotionally dangerous to both of you because he feels entitled in a way that suggests that he’ll hurt whichever of you gets in his way – which was the case with what he did with you. You deserve a man who will be committed to only you and will see the gift that you are. I realize that you’d like a friendship with this man but I don’t think that’s likely anytime in the near future. For your own emotional health I’d suggest you stop all contact right now, focus on the more positive people in your life and move forward. I know it’s very painful now but there is always something better waiting around the corner when you’ve got love to give. In life and love, Gillian

  7. ISHA says:

    i was in strong relationship with a guy about 3.5 years.. we were very far away as he is doing a job in private sector and i m a student. Before 1 month, he told me he dont feel love for me now since 4-5months and its you what you do like force, blackmail,etc. But i thought it was because of jobs that make his life hell.. he said he is already in lot of problem that he has to manage so he want to remain tension free both at home and office. He told me he dont want to b with me in life. I cant believe how he could he say. i was depressed. Before breakup, he always told me thousand times that dont leave him and cheat him. so that hy whne we fight then i never let it happen to leave him. but now i let him go. it has been 1 month. i cant expect him anymore.. i need to know will he come back? i deleted him from facebook. because i want to overcome him. Did i right?

  8. HelpfulDiva says:

    Hi Isha – Sometimes when life’s stresses become too much a person will pull back from the people they care for. Often, they don’t even fully realize what they’re doing. In their mind, their focus is just on calming all the issues that are coming at them. If you and your ex boyfriend weren’t as close as you once were, he may have pushed you away because it was the one area where he felt completely in control. The fact that you mentioned that he is having problems suggests this might have been what he was doing. I believe you were right to delete him from facebook if he pushed you away in such a profound way. Don’t be surprised if you hear from your ex boyfriend again when his life finds more balance. Until then you need to focus on yourself and finding your own happiness. I know it’s very hard not to dwell on him and what you’ve lost, but remember that many men do come back weeks, or even months later. It’s up to you to be prepared for that. Just take some time to really consider whether a future with your ex boyfriend is the best thing for you. In life and love, Gillian

  9. Lane says:

    Hello,

    You seem like a very insightful person. I wondered if you have any advice for a reconciliation when I was the one who dumped my boyfriend. The problems that led me to end the relationship were only on my side and have since resolved, and I want nothing more than to resume our relationship, which my ex and I both agree was wonderful. However, my former boyfriend isn’t sure if he wants me back. My ex doesn’t trust me not to hurt him again, and I don’t know how to prove to him that I won’t. I know I hurt him deeply by leaving, and right now I’m living in a dreadful state of fear that he will decide to stay apart. I don’t know how to convince him that we can be happy together, since I was the one that left and he definitely blames me for that. It’s been a few weeks since I told him I want to get back together, and since I’ve had no answer I can’t sleep for more than a few hours, and when I do I have dreams that he hates me. This makes it really difficult not to call him and ask for an affirmation that he still loves me. What can I do or not do to get back a man that I left?

  10. artemis says:

    My name is artemis.My bf broke up with me because he said i was pushy,petty,and jealous and he wanted to be alone and single and not ready for a committment. Then for some reason we kept going back to eachother back and forth and its frustrating because he refuses to commit to me.like he kept pushing me away everytime he feels we are getting really close and serious.i really love himand i am working hard to not being that way that cause the breakup in the first place and change because i desperately want us back together.i feel it is meant to be because in all my dating i never felt this connection or love for any man. I get sick when he is sick or he gets sick when i am sick for some weird reason like he feels like my missing half.i cry myself to sleep holding the tshirt i have for him that still smell like him praying that he will come back to me and treat me way better with the love,attention and respect i deserve.i am really desperate and will do anything to be with him and for him because this love i feel is as real as it can get.i wish he can open up and say that he wants to be with me and for us to be together.he is a capricorn and very very stubborn.i mean he treats me like he wants to be with me again even after the breakup but i wish he can you just tell me.i love him and really want to be with him again and i want him to actually stop being so stubborn and actually admit that he wants to be with me.i dont know why he is being hesitant.cuz we have both changed and put the past issues that cause the breakup in the first place .If its one thing i wish for is for him to return to me and both of us reconcile our differences and put the bad stuffs in the past behind us and look towards the future together as one.I will also Love him unconditionally and treat him with unconditional respect if he would only come back to me and be with me.Rightnow there is this girl that lives a couple hrs away from us that he goes to see and taking her out.i want him back with me and him stop seeing her.me and him live like 30secs away from eachother and we work in the same building.we communicate and friendly with eachother.if i text or call he answers or he calls me too and we have conversations.we are actually civil to eachother with no nasty arguements but we havent hung out alone together eversince last wednesday on may 2nd where were intimate.i am desperately craving.he had even admitted that he has feelings for me several times last month.i know he still does and if i knew that he didnt want anything to do with me or didnt had feelings for me i would’ve just let him go.but i know he does and its just that he is afraid of a real relationship and committment phobia because he has been hurt several times in the past.he brought his really ugly girlfriend at this party i went to and I only said hi neighbor as sweet as sugar to my ex and thats it and it looked really obvious that he trying too hard to make me jealous and was acting so into her and all over touching and kissing and whispering to her and still kept my cool,act like a lady and laughed and talk with my friends.if i am around standing in a particular area he moves away with her.i could feel that they looked so uncomfortable then him and her didnt really even talk to anyone much at all or interact with the group.they made sure that they were in a corner making out or something.then they didnt stuck around long at the party after i came.i think they felt really uncomfortable around me.its so wrong of him to use her like that to try to get over his love for me and make me jealous.Then i messaged her on facebook saying that she needs to truth about what went on between me and him.she came over to my place and brought him along too.apparently he never told her that he slept with me on two occasions before he went on both dates with her then just after he asked to be with her in a committed relationship.i told her the truth.every little dirt that happened.i didnt lie for him.i love him but i wouldnt lie for him.now he totally hates me and blocked my number And probably wouldnt never talk to me again.he is like completely avoiding me at all cost.he stopped coming to the pool area and lounge at work where he usually hangs out because i was in there.i think i lost him for good now because he is really embarrassed about that stuffs.he didnt want me to tell her at all then he shouldve been honest.i dnt know why i feel like i still love him and want him back and for him to forgive me.this is the guy i feel i want to spend the rest of my life with.i just wish all this bad stuffs can be put in the past and we move forward together with eachother.as for the other girl i wish her no harm but for her to stay away from my man.
    He blocked my number and doesnt want me to contact him at all or anything to do with me.its killing me inside because i feel really guilty for contacting that girl and tell her the truth.its like the right thing because he shouldve been honest with her but it feels wrong because i love him so much and didnt want to see him hurt by that action.i dislike her for being with him but at the same time i wish him or her no harm.all i want is for him to return to me and forgive me.love makes u blind and do stupid things and that was the impulsive stupid thing i did.i still want to keep on fighting for my love.when u meet that soulmate its like u want to fight to keep them.i think him and her have broken up. He is really miserable whenever I see him at work and he totally avoids me and looked very unhappy.

  11. juliana says:

    Anita from Canada i want to share my life experience to every body on this site.i was in a serious relationship with mike i love him so much we have dated for almost 6 years now.until he meant another girl called Vivian rose he told me that he is know longer interested in dating me any more. i was so confuse i don’t know what to do.

  12. Gillian Reynolds says:

    Hi Anita – You’re in a really difficult place and you have my heartfelt thoughts. Before you do anything, stop yourself. You need time to grieve the lost relationship and you have to give yourself the opportunity to sit and think about whether your ex boyfriend is truly the man for you. My best advice is to take 2 weeks solely to yourself to mourn the break up and to think about whether the relationship can be fixed and whether it can flourish from this point. Take care of yourself. In light and love, Gillian

  13. sonia says:

    hello everyone in this blog, i’m at the point of losing hope that i can not get my man back again, i did exactly what this man ask me to do and to my greatest surprise he still left. i dont know if i can do anything to get him back. he wont talk to me or my friends. he tells me to leave him alone. Sonia

  14. Elena says:

    i was propose to be marriage by my bf, but he suddenly changed his mind just because he found him self a new love, my heart was broken and so devastated to the extend of depression, my friend helped me know that wasn’t right thing to do but i miss my ex boyfriend so much it hard to do anything. can i get him back still or is he gonna stay with the new one?

  15. Gillian Reynolds says:

    Hi Elena – I’m sorry that you had to go through something so traumatic. Knowing that your boyfriend wanted to marry you and then to be left is just devastating. I don’t blame you for feeling a sense of depression. It’s important that you always recognize what you feel and take the appropriate steps to deal with it. Remember that you’re a special person and as such, you deserve to be treated with compassion and respect. Right now I’d suggest that you take some time to really consider whether getting back your ex boyfriend is the best thing for you. Think about what you two were feeling before the split and whether or not he seemed anxious about the idea of marriage. It can feel a bit like a vice grip to some men and they bolt simply because they don’t have the emotional maturity to deal with telling their girlfriend they want to wait to wed. Don’t chase after him. Even though he may be with someone else now, that doesn’t mean it will last. She’s very likely a rebound to him and once he realizes that she pales in comparison to you, he’ll probably come crawling back begging you to marry him again. In life and love, Gillian

  16. Gillian Reynolds says:

    Hi Sonia – It sounds like you’ve got a very difficult situation on your hands at the moment. I know you feel as though you did everything you possibly could to make your ex boyfriend happy but that in itself may be one of the reasons the relationship didn’t work. When a woman bends over backwards to put her man’s happiness over her own, it’s going to result in him taking advantage of her good nature. More than that, he’s going to view her as a doormat and less of challenge and eventually he’s not going to feel the thrill of the chase so he’ll start look elsewhere for fulfillment. Stop trying to contact him and ensure your friends don’t reach out to him either. You have to pull yourself together and show your man that you’re strong with or without him. If you can do that, you’ll stand a chance of getting him to love you again. In life and love, Gillian

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