“Can I make my ex boyfriend regret leaving me? That’s a question I’m asked at least a few times a week on my blogs or in email. It’s a heady question. If you were dumped you’re aching to show your ex boyfriend that he made a mistake, right? You know that eventually one day he’s going to realize that he still loves you and no other woman measures up to you, but when is that going to happen? You’re patient, but maybe not that patient. I don’t blame you. After a break up, we wish time would pass more quickly so our ex can begin to feel the remorse that we know he’ll inevitably feel. Until then, is there anything you can do that will actually make him feel that regret sooner? You may be surprised by the subtle ways you can help him see exactly what he lost.
Making your ex boyfriend regret leaving you is all about showing him that regardless of what happened between you two in the past, you’re still the woman he’s supposed to be with. That has to start by demonstrating to him that you’re mature enough to handle what’s happened. I understand that you may not feel very mature right now. You may feel like storming over to his house, stomping your feet and demanding he take you back. That’s obviously not something you can do right now as it will undermine any chance you may have had of getting him to want to be with you again.
Maturity is all about rising above the circumstance and conflict. Most of us want to hang onto the thing that we believe caused the break up. If you and your ex had a massive fight, and soon after he dumped you, obviously you’re going to play that argument over and over again picking it apart. It’s not good to obsess in this way at all. If you do this, you become stuck in a cycle of emotional pain. You must let it go and learn how to move towards a happier future for yourself. Do what it takes to let the anger that is associated with the break up go. Once you do this, any interaction that you have with your ex boyfriend in the future will be calm and rational. He’ll notice the difference in you immediately.
Should You Date Someone Else to Make Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous?
Many people will profess the benefits of dating someone new in an effort to get an ex back. I don’t advocate this at all. The idea that you can use someone else, preferably more successful and better looking, to drive your ex back to you, is risky, at best. Here’s the problem, as I see it. If you find a man to date and he’s oblivious to your plan, you’re toying with his emotions. That alone isn’t a good thing at all. Also, you are possibly going to push your ex boyfriend further away from you because he’ll become so overcome with jealousy that he’ll emotionally shut down. He’ll determine that you’ve moved on and he’ll look to do the same. Don’t be surprised if you try this tactic, if you suddenly learn that your ex boyfriend has his own new love interest.
This is what I suggest you do if you want to make your ex boyfriend regret leaving you:
Be happy. There are always some lingering feelings on both sides of a break up. The person who did the dumping still will have some feelings associated with their ex. For men, their ego tends to get in the mix and that leads them to secretly take some pleasure in seeing their ex girlfriend emotionally devastated by the break up. If you appear happy, content and satisfied with your life as it is right now, that alone will serve to make him regret leaving you. He’ll wonder if the break up impacted you at all.
Be distant. Running after your ex boyfriend, be it literally chasing him down the street or calling him repeatedly, is never helpful. If you do anything remotely like this, you’re essentially handing your emotional power over to him on a silver platter. He’ll see that you’re willing to do anything to get him back so he may be tempted to toy with your emotions. Don’t allow that. Take your focus away from him and the break up and find other ways to fill your time. Your inner strength will astound him.
Be quiet. Women are notorious for being emotional talkers. We’ll talk for hours on end about what we’re feeling, what we wish our relationship was and how we want our future to be. If you do this, with your ex boyfriend, he’ll see that you’re fragile and still smitten with him. You can accomplish so much more, post break up, through silence. If you don’t say anything to your ex boyfriend, he’ll be forced to wonder what’s going through your head. You want that. It will make him think about the break up much more frequently than if you rambled on about it incessantly in email or text.
Your inner strength and ability to overcome the break up is the greatest tool at your disposal if you want to make him regret leaving you. Show him that you’re capable, happy and content without him and he’ll start to think that you’ll be better off with him. Make your ex boyfriend understand, through actions, not words that you don’t need him anymore and he’ll set out on a journey to prove you wrong.
I’ve chronicled my own quest to get my ex boyfriend back. He’s now my husband and we’re happily married. I know that things may feel difficult and bleak now, but there’s hope that you can get him back. Read my personal story here.